I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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