You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Randomize
