I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize