DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
