Im at strip club and am horny
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
