I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
