She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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