I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
