I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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