that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
