It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
