if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
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