More tranny stories later!
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He better not be in your backpack
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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