you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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