i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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