Whod you bang
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
