She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
