FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
No subtext here. People are naked.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
