I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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