At least make sure they are 18
Why
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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