I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
