butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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