the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize