Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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