Sponge bath it is.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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