Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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