The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
