you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
