when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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