it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
