ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just had sex bonerless
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
