shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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