Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
