She is in my trunk
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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