You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
