She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
