Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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