I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
