Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
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