I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
