i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
