It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
