i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the day after is always just damage control
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
