I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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