Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
