It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
