real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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