Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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