just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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