I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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