Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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