i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
