It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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