im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
