.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize