I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize