ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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