whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I deserve this hangover.
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