Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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