We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
