so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
